This is what I get to do with my life. Sigh.

All that being said, this was the week that my sweet Annie was to depart for her sophomore year at Oglethorpe University, or the Oglefort, as she lovingly calls it. Katie, my eldest, was also heading back to UGA, but is commuting, which softens the blow for me a bit. (she is going to Spain in the spring, but that is another blog.) Life as a family unit was coming to an end again, and I knew it. I decided to bring my camera with me everywhere we went this week, as Annie and I shopped for school supplies, when our family had a final meal and “dance party” together, and finally, when we drove her back to the Fort. As I said, a roller coaster, full of highs and lows, sometimes holding our breath and sometimes throwing our hands in the air. I was gathering memories with speed and fervor, putting them on my flash cards, in my pockets, my heart, whatever would hold them.  I couldn’t hold them all, but I tried. I couldn’t stop time, I but I did savor it.

This is my family. We are for real. We do dance in the kitchen with sparklers, and have salsa lessons in the den. We raise our hands sometimes to pray at mealtimes, ( mostly on Chris’s lead), and we laugh and cry together. I love them so. Life will not be the same without all of them around me and I know this is the way it goes. Most of my friends still have little ones at home and I envy them. A lot. How I loved the days of reading books together, finger painting, and even the fits they would pitch on the kitchen floor when things weren’t going their way.  I did have a baby on the way four years ago, but lost him in my fifth month. He would be four now. I look forward to seeing him one day. I know he is beautiful, just like my others.

Anyway, here they are. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do

I have the joy of going to church with some really creative people. This video was put together by my good friend and talented artist Dustin Ahkuoi. Check his blog out here.

He put this together for our choir kick-off. Wouldn’t you like to sing in our choir?

Blessings!!

Here are the books I am reading  and/or writing in on a daily basis these days. As you can tell, I am trying to reign in my life a bit. Pictured above, from top to bottom, ( but not in order of priority), are my journal, Simplify Your Work Life, by Elaine St. James, my Bible, Simplify Your Life, by Marcia Ramsland ( a Davina Fear recommendation), and finally, Boundaries, by Cloud and Townsend, a kick-butt book that everyone should read.

I am finding bits of wisdom in these books that can help me in very practical ways. Today, I have just a few thoughts on Marcia Ramsland’s book, Simplify Your Life. ( fourth from the top)

She talks about four time-management lifestyles that most of us fall into.

1. The crisis and memory method: this method relies primarily on reacting to the urgent, and relies on        memory to keep it all under control. ( oh GEEZ this sounds so familiar). Not a real keeper.

2. The list and pile method: has a little more forethought, by piling up things that need to be done by category. ( I do this too!) This method only works well if we clear the piles daily and start all over again. (WHO does THAT?)

3. The calendar method: Hmm, writing out your entire schedule on the wall calendar, or on a calendar in your purse, but missing out on errands and to do’s because they are scribbled in the margins or on sticky notes.  I don’t get the feeling she approves of this plan either.

4. Finally, (can you hear the angels singing?) The planner method!:  I will quote her here. ” A planner is a book with sections to organize your activities and lists. It is basically everything you need to stay organized all in one place. It is a system for people who have numerous details to attend to or who ever have the same day twice.” I think she likes that one.

I have some work to do! I like this book, and don’t find it too overwhelming, as she uses real lives of people to explain the problems and solutions she comes to. Wish she could come spend some time with me. Or do I? Off to Barnes and Noble to find a good planner, I think

Sometimes I just feel like a little girl. I don’t want to be the grown up anymore. That’s how I feel right now.

There are so many important decisions to make right now.

I have three beautiful children. Two of which are now in college and one that is still with me at home. I have always home schooled my kids. This has become more and more difficult as photography has become more prominent in my life. Basically, I need to rethink some things. I have two more years with my beautiful Johnny at home. He needs to be my priority. The problem is, I don’t know how to manage it all, so I run to my Father God.

I basically cried myself to sleep last night. Yes, I can say that here on this blog, for everyone to see. I am human, and a mom, and a wife, and, thankfully, a child of God. Sometimes I just don’t know what to do, and I come unraveled. Life just seems insurmountable.  I wonder, often, if I am alone in this feeling, and yet surely, I am not. There’s homeschooling, photography, dance ministry, being a wife and mother, and the desire to be physically and spiritually fit, and oh yeah, just one me.

I don’t think organizationally, and this gets the better of me. Sometimes I think I am just one big blob of passion and creativity. This is great, but only for awhile. I already know this about myself. Too well. How much time should go to homeschooling, to photography? Should I continue on my present path? These are large thoughts.

I love the scripture above. It is from Psalm 73. It speaks to me deeply. The idea that God is always with me is so comforting. Because I don’t feel like I am always with Him. But He is always with me. The idea that my flesh and my heart  may fail, and they do, but He is the strength of my heart. My portion. Forever. Yes.

So, it is another day, and I know that the strength of my heart will be God, and not me and all my superwoman skills. ( I do have some). Looking forward, with a little trepidation, to what He will do.

Peace.

I pray many blessings for their lives and much happiness for them in the years to come. May they always bring each other laughter, light and warmth as they travel this life together.

Blessings, you two.

We thought this was a good idea. Unfortunately, we got there a little later than we wanted, (due to a brief family spat. Hey, we’re normal) and we began the 2.5 mile trek up the mountain around 6:00.  Katie tripped on a root first thing and twisted her ankle. After a brief stop to see if she was okay, we trekked on. A few minutes later, I was bringing up the rear of the line and tripped on a root while carrying my camera. ( someone has to capture these moments). I face-planted and everyone heard it. They found me with my face on the ground and my left arm holding my camera in the air. I think I had my priorities straight.

The real drama came when we began to head back down the mountain at 8:15. It wasn’t long before we realized we might be in trouble. The mountain woods were already very dense, but it began to get dark at an alarming rate. Katie’s ankle was still sore, so we weren’t able to travel very fast. By 9:15 we couldn’t see the path and there were roots, rocks and large drop off’s on sides of the trail. Annie held out Johnny’s cell phone ( the only light we had) and called out the path to us one at a time. “Rock!” “Root!” “Big step down!”

We would pass it on to each other down the line. Kind of humorous, kind of not. At one point we lost the trail for a minute and my heart fluttered. Johnny quickly reminded us ( from his extensive Survivor Man training) to follow the riverbed. I was feeling very concerned and we were all very quiet as we stepped carefully down a path we could not see. The Scripture about God’s word being a “light to our path” became  especially meaningful to me.

Finally, we came across some guys camping out. Their campfire brought so much comfort to my heart. They yelled out to us and said they had seen us go up the mountain but were wondering about us. One of them with a head lamp came to our rescue and led us out the rest of the way. Chivalry is not dead! I will never forget my relief as he lit our path the rest of the way. Again, scripture came to me “You are the light of the world”. So comforting was that light in a dark and scary place. If we are the light of the world to those that are in darkness, what an honor to be their comfort and way out.

So we had our family adventure.  When we got to a restaurant, Chris said he wanted to order the  ”I am so glad we didn’t die on the mountain special.” I was in agreement.

So we had our family time and an adventure. I love this little family. They are mine.

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I am forever grateful, Davina!

After that we were off! I learned so much from them all. Millie Holloman brought it with her mad business skills and effervescent personality. I instantly loved her!  Lauren Clark walked through “the anatomy of a wedding” with us and learning how to better shoot in manual.  She is so real, and fun to be with. I learned so much from her. I thoroughly enjoyed watching  Kelly Moore on our model shoot outing. She has such a great way with people and  can work with any lighting you throw at her. Loved it! I could have stood there for hours on the hot Atlanta pavement watching her work our models, Jessica Cox and Eric Ivey. They were great too and I got to shoot them again the next day. They are pictured below.

I am so blessed because of this unique and extravagant opportunity. I would do it again in a heartbeat!

Thanks so much to my husband and family who supported me in my efforts (and expense) to go. Thanks to the Love Affair Workshop team for putting this event together. I feel I will benefit in my life skills, my business, and my art. Thank you!!