Sometimes I just feel like a little girl. I don’t want to be the grown up anymore. That’s how I feel right now.

There are so many important decisions to make right now.

I have three beautiful children. Two of which are now in college and one that is still with me at home. I have always home schooled my kids. This has become more and more difficult as photography has become more prominent in my life. Basically, I need to rethink some things. I have two more years with my beautiful Johnny at home. He needs to be my priority. The problem is, I don’t know how to manage it all, so I run to my Father God.

I basically cried myself to sleep last night. Yes, I can say that here on this blog, for everyone to see. I am human, and a mom, and a wife, and, thankfully, a child of God. Sometimes I just don’t know what to do, and I come unraveled. Life just seems insurmountable.  I wonder, often, if I am alone in this feeling, and yet surely, I am not. There’s homeschooling, photography, dance ministry, being a wife and mother, and the desire to be physically and spiritually fit, and oh yeah, just one me.

I don’t think organizationally, and this gets the better of me. Sometimes I think I am just one big blob of passion and creativity. This is great, but only for awhile. I already know this about myself. Too well. How much time should go to homeschooling, to photography? Should I continue on my present path? These are large thoughts.

I love the scripture above. It is from Psalm 73. It speaks to me deeply. The idea that God is always with me is so comforting. Because I don’t feel like I am always with Him. But He is always with me. The idea that my flesh and my heart  may fail, and they do, but He is the strength of my heart. My portion. Forever. Yes.

So, it is another day, and I know that the strength of my heart will be God, and not me and all my superwoman skills. ( I do have some). Looking forward, with a little trepidation, to what He will do.

Peace.

Here are a few highlights from Jonathan and Aubrey’s wedding day. They chose to do a ” first sight” where they saw each other before the ceremony and read letters to each to other in private. (well, we kind of peeked for a few shots). It was very special and yes, I cried.

I pray many blessings for their lives and much happiness for them in the years to come. May they always bring each other laughter, light and warmth as they travel this life together.

Blessings, you two.